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My father is a big fan of Zi Wei Dou Shu, eastern astrology, both my sister and I got a reading right after we were born. I know it is crazy to believe that the arrangement of the stars can predict my life, but there is something about it I cannot explain. The older I get, the more realize my reading is so accurate. I want to learn more so I don’t feel like a fool when people talk about it. It’s actually very important if I want to do business in East Asia.

Now, back to my reading, people with Puo Jun in the Self Court like me tend to have these set of qualities:rebellious, restless, overbearing, stubborn, tireless, energetic, edgy, can be uncommonly skillful, makes unpredictable moves and changes and difficult to understand. If you read my other blog, you know I told people that they should  lie on their résumé, college is a bad investment, and smart women should marry money. Nothing about my point of view is normal. I don’t like to agree with mainstream media. It is the way a person with Puo Jun in self court thinks. We are rebels who don’t like to follow any rules. I am a woman who works in the boys club and dresses like a clown at fashion week.

Anyway this post isn’t about astrology, it is about engagement ring. Of course having Puo Jun star in the Self Court I wouldn’t want a traditional engagement ring; it is too normal and impractical for my taste. “As soon as you leave the jeweler with a diamond, it loses over 50% of its value …. If you want to hoard gold jewelry however, there is  typically a 100-400% retail markup so that’s probably not a wise investment. ” [Tweet This]

Don’t get me wrong, I believe that it is necessary to have some kind of down payment for people to take relationship more seriously. Marriage is a business even people hate to admit it, remember you have to sign a contract. If you propose and run away with your love at first sight new girlfriend, sorry you are not going to get back your engagement ring. That is the price you will have to pay for wasting the valuable time that I won’t be able get back, ruin my reputation and breaking my heart. Men usually hate my rules. If you don’t break your promise, you won’t lose anything. It is a fair game.  I agree with Michael Scott in The Office, my youth is worth at least 3 year three years’ salary. I am expensive and every girl should be too.

But I don’t think marriage’s down payment should be in form of an engagement  ring to show the world that you are engaged. If you are multi-millionaire with money to spend, it is just like buying candy at store, but most of us are not millionaires.  Most of us are still trying to figure out how to become financially independent, and have a secure simple life.

At the end of the day marriage is about building a future not losing money together (on purpose).

[Tweet This]

 Did you know, the fancy diamond engagement ring isn’t traditional, it was clever advertising.

In 1919, De Beers experienced a drop in diamond sales that lasted for two decades. So in the 1930s it turned to the firm N.W. Ayer to devise a national advertising campaign—still relatively rare at the time—to promote its diamonds. A year convinced Hollywood actresses to wear diamond rings in public, and, according to Edward Jay Epstein in The Rise and Fall of the Diamond, encouraged fashion designers to discuss the new “trend” toward diamond rings. Between 1938 and 1941, diamond sales went up 55 percent. By 1945 an average bride, one source reported, wore “a brilliant diamond engagement ring and a wedding ring to match in design.” The capstone to it all came in 1947, when Frances Gerety—a female copywriter, who, as it happened, never married—wrote the line “A Diamond Is Forever.” The company blazoned it over the image of happy young newlyweds on their honeymoon. The sale of diamond engagement rings continued to rise in the 1950s, and the marriage between romance and commerce that would characterize the American wedding for the next half-century was cemented. By 1965, 80 percent of American women had diamond engagement rings. The ring had become a requisite element of betrothal—as well as a very visible demonstration of status. [Source]

I prefer to have golds in the bank (to avoid inflation) or a house down payment than a sparkling rock on my finger. It is a better investment for my marriage and future. If tomorrow my family goes bankrupt, It is easier to sell gold or real estate than a my half price diamond engagement ring. I think it is a better idea for couple to have smart long-term investment together which will benefit them more.

Diamonds might be a girl best friend, but long-term investments  are  a woman’s best friend. [Tweet This]

You won’t have an engagement ring to show off with all your girlfriends on Instagram and Facebook, but you  will have more money in bank account to build the future with your soon-to-be husband. Which one is more important? Is it better to be special for a few minutes or live a better life? It is better to show off an amazing future husband than an (expensive) tiny ring.

It is never easy being different. People will ask why you don’t have an engagement ring, but it is easier to explain that, than why you are in financial trouble. Marriage is an investment, you are investing your life. It is always a good idea to start it the right way with a strong foundation instead of a sparkling rock on your finger.

Would you not marry someone if he didn’t spend a few months salary on a ring? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

photo credit: 1 spaceyjessie 2 Paul-W

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About CamMi Pham

CamMi Pham (@cammipham)